What we say, what we do
by chibiangelfromheaven
Summary: When we cannot say what we want to say, what we do can speak louder than any words. A companion piece to Say so little, say so much, but can sort of stand alone.


This is a companion piece, of sorts, to Say so little, say so much. It's in Naruto's perspective, and involves him being unaware that Itachi is dead. Face it: if he went away, chances are he doesn't get a shinobi newspaper wherever he is. Anywho: I don't own Naruto, although I do own ten uncut Naruto DVDs and a Naruto baseball cap.

* * *

I watched people go about their lives everyday. They never saw me unless I wanted them to.

I saw how people treated me, heard what they said supposedly behind my back and Oji-san's back. Demon…monster…shouldn't be allowed to live.

I watched during the Academy, hoping that someone would see me. That someone would notice that I was there when I didn't try to draw attention to myself. Finally, someone did.

He was a new teacher, intent on moulding us the way the other teachers had long given up trying. He noticed everyone, even the shy ones like Hyuuga Hinata and the lazy ones like Nara Shikamaru. He saw beyond the trouble I was apt to cause and the "monster" I was supposed to be and saw the real me: the awkward, scared boy who craved attention. I wonder if anyone noticed that after that my pranks weren't quite so frequent, although I still did pull pranks…

We grew close, Iruka-sensei and I, until I saw in him the brother I never had. I told him that I liked to watch people, and he asked me what I saw.

I told him I saw Sasuke's desire for his brother's approval even more than his father's, and how Ino was as insecure as Sakura inside. I told him that Choji was a comfort eater, and that Shikamaru had a fondness for fudge that he indulged in when his mother and others weren't looking. I told him that Oji-san had a stash of pickles in the top drawer of his desk and ate them liberally while he was signing stuff, and that Oji-san's older son Asuma had tried to quit smoking three times in the last year but others around him kept giving him cigarettes, thinking he'd run out.

After I found out about Kyuubi, I realised why people hated me, why they called me those names behind my back. I wanted nothing more than to rip Kyuubi out of my body and kill him myself for all the pain he caused me and everyone else.

I eventually calmed down about Kyuubi, around the time I met Gaara actually. I saw how he was treated by those around him and realised how lightly I'd come off. They were downright terrified of him, where I was only hated and slightly feared. Maybe my pranks had done a good thing: if I was limited to pranks then clearly Kyuubi wasn't as powerful as he had been.

I saw the way things changed after Oto and Suna attacked Konoha, after word got around about how I'd saved them all. Sasuke's one good deed was to tell people that I was the one who saved them all, not him. People began to soften towards me, and I heard fewer bad things behind my back. I'd protected Konoha, after all, and brought the new Hokage back to Konoha with Jiraiya. No demon intent on destruction would willingly place such a strong person in the role of Hokage, surely.

When Sasuke defected I saw mixed reactions from people. Some glared at me, asking without words why I hadn't brought him back. Some gave pitying looks, knowing that I had tried my best but my best wasn't good enough. Some even looked at me proudly, for I had faced the prodigy and lived. The looks that scared me most, though, were the looks of worship I began to receive from the children, who suddenly saw me as the greatest ninja around. Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon I could cope with, but an _army_ of preteen admirers? That was just downright scary.

I've made no secret of my desire to become Hokage, and a Hokage must do what's best for the people no matter how hard the decision may be. I know I'm a threat to Konoha, not just because of Kyuubi but also became of Akatsuki coming after me. Itachi and Kisame, after all, have proved they would do anything to get at me.

I gave no warning that I was leaving, no hint that anyone would spot. I knew they would brand me as a missing-nin and send Hunter-nins after me, but that was a small price to pay to protect everyone. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

When we cannot say what we want to say, what we do can speak louder than any words.

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So, how's it look? Does it work, or is it plain old trash that shouldn't be put on the net? 


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